This pandemic is creating a new reality for parents and their children, which may be challenging. Parents need their children to be more independent. Children need their parent’s attention more than ever. Let’s set the stage for success. I have already suggested setting a schedule in an earlier post. Now let’s look at stamina. Recently, I have been using the Pomodoro technique. The basic idea is to manage time effectively by using a timer and being completely engaged with one activity during that chunk of time.
As a parent, set the goal to spend intentional quality time with your children, then maybe it will not always have to be quantity. Eat meals together, without any technology close at hand. Play together! Do workout videos together. Cook together. Clean the house together. Have tea parties. Play their video games with them. Get involved with their activities and get them involved in yours. The most significant part of this is to give your loved ones your undivided attention when you are with them so that when you can’t be with them, it will be okay. They will be secure knowing that when you can, you will.
Let’s tie in the timer. For your children, a timer is a great tool! Let’s look at some ways to use it. Initially, stamina for independent activities probably needs to be developed. Think age-appropriate lengths of time. A twelve-month old may only be able to play independently for five to eight minutes. You can expect to start low and increase that amount of time. Clear expectations are essential. “I need you to play with these toys right now because I need to _____. I will set the timer for ____ minutes. When the timer goes off, I will spend time with you.” Gather toys and activities you know are safe, and that they will enjoy. Have your child play close to you. As you practice this, gradually increase the amount of time. Another way to use the timer is transitioning from one activity to another. “I am going to set the timer, and when it goes off, it is time to clean up.” As a family, we used the timer for chores, too. For example, a daily fifteen-minute tidy after dinner. When we did Saturday morning chores, there was a list. Everyone picked jobs, and we set the timer. The work needed to be done, but the boys knew they could hang out with friends when the timer went off. Does this make sense?
I have talked about having a schedule before, but it is important enough to repeat. When people have a clear idea about what is going to happen, it creates security, confidence, patience, and anticipation. When I was teaching, I always had the plan displayed in the classroom. I used a clearly defined word and picture schedule with grade one and a handwritten plan with grade 10. It can work with any age and can encourage so many skills. I would make sure that I included reasonable independent activities at the beginning of class so that if I had to take care of any concern as the students came into the room, I could. The displayed schedule allowed the students to know when favourite subjects would happen, and less liked activities would end. A different way I used a schedule was a family meal plan, displayed on the fridge. On the plan was what the meal would be, what cookbook to use and the page number. I could create the plan and the shopping list on Thursday nights after the boys went to bed while I was watching t.v. We would go grocery shopping on the weekend. Then whoever got home first on a weekday would start supper. This is doable!
Think engagement, clear expectations, and independence.